Churches’ distinctive connections, through dementia

Church family, music and buildings

As one of the 100 or so churches in our Diocese taking active steps to become more dementia-friendly year by year, Lichfield Cathedral generously hosts our in-person dementia-friendly church network meetings.

Network meeting at Lichfield Cathedral – Monday 28 September 1-5pm

Bookings are now open for our next meeting, hosted by Lichfield Cathedral, which will take place on Monday 28 September from 1-5pm in The Old Stables.

Andy Wynter, our Diocesan Racial Justice Strategic Development Coordinator, will speak about his personal experience of caring for his mum Rose through her dementia.
Professor Peter Kevern will explore “Touching God through Dementia: Experiencing dementia in family life and connecting with God’s presence”. Peter is long-time friend of our dementia-friendly churches network. He has been Professor of Values in Health and Social Care at Staffordshire University and is now returning to the staff of Queens Theological College in Birmingham. He will be drawing on his book, “Touching God: Dementia and the Bodies of Christ”.
Our network exchange will, as always at our meetings, allow us to hear from one another, sharing experiences, support and encouragement.

Book your place here.

Welcome

At our last Cathedral-hosted network meeting, the Fenland Black Oak Table was in Lichfield Cathedral and we gathered around it to share our lunch. The wood that forms this table is 5,000 years old, reminding us that we are, “a tiny, tiny, tiny part of a very, very, very long story”. These were the words of Rt Revd Jan McFarlane, Dean of Lichfield Cathedral, welcoming us: she also affirmed, “This is your cathedral. You are always welcome here.”

Dean Jan recognised the work of the Cathedral dementia friendly team, who “do the most tremendous work”. She also recognised the work of members of the dementia-friendly churches network across our parishes as “so critical”. Her hope and prayer is that as we engage in all of that we do, we might know the deep peace of God, which passes all understanding and which only God can give.

Dean Jan clarified our churches’ distinctive offer and connections, through advancing dementia. At just over 10 minutes’ long, it’s well worth sharing her inspiring talk here. And you can read a brief summary below.

Church family, gathered around the table

Even if we call it an altar, we gather week by week around a table, the Lord’s Table. We gather to eat together, remembering the Last Supper. It reminds us that we are a community, we are a family.

However isolating life can be at times, none of us has to go it alone. For people affected by dementia, there can be a feel of increasing isolation, a sense of people slipping away. So it’s important to return to the fact, Sunday by Sunday, that we are a community, we’re a family, who gather round a table to eat together and to care for one another. When we're feeling shaky, when we're feeling disorientated, when we're feeling we can't think straight, the bread of life that we share together at our Communion Service can nourish and sustain us. It reminds us of the one who gave his life for us, to strengthen us and sustain us – not because of who we are and what we achieve, but just because we're his children and he cares hugely for us.

And it reminds us, too, as we eat and drink together, that our faith isn't just about a “head thing”. It isn't about, “Can we articulate our faith in great ways?” or, “Have we got the answer to all life’s questions?” It's a very earthy thing. It's about eating and drinking, simply receiving God's love for us through the bread and wine in a way that goes deeper than words.

The bread of life is really important for us all – including for carers and people living with dementia. One particular lady in a wheelchair living with dementia comes to the Cathedral with her husband. When they come up for communion, he puts out his hand and receives the bread and she watches him - and then she knows what to do. She puts out her hand and she receives the bread. Again with the wine, he demonstrates and she is able to remember and follow suit. It’s one of those moments, for Dean Jan, that make the rest of the week feel absolutely worthwhile.

So we gather around the table. We are a church family.

Sharing the power of church music

We also have something incredible in the form of our music. It’s more than “just songs” – it’s the music of our prayers and our faith.

At a dementia-friendly Harvest Festival in the cathedral, someone living with dementia came to the service. She was accompanied by a young, attentive carer. The woman hadn’t really connected to the service until the hymn, “Come ye faithful people, come”. Then, her face lift up as she sang that hymn. And her young carer just looks stunned. In that moment, she saw a lady that she hadn’t yet met.

Our church music is so much more than simply a song: it connects us to our story, to our faith, to God.

The stability of our church buildings

Our cathedral has been around for 900 years, with a place of worship on the same site for 1300 years. It's a place that isn't going to go away. It's there standing for us. And the walls of our cathedrals and churches hold the prayers, the hopes and the fears, of all those who've gone before us. They remind us that, whatever we're going through now, people have gone through it before and they've come out the other side.

Our church buildings can hold us like a giant hug. In the words of the hymn, our buildings can hold us in the prayer that when “change and decay in all around I see… Lord, abide with me”.

Summary

So through table fellowship, through the bread of life, through the joy of music, through the familiarity of our worship that takes the same form week after week, through our solid church buildings with firm foundations, we can be fed, we can be encouraged, we can be included, we can be reminded, we can be strengthened. And we can remember the God who loves us just because of who we are, with each one of us having dignity as a child of God. As Paul says, in the Book of Romans, nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from God's love.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-9)

Sharing this film in your own church to open up discussion

You may wish to gather together a group of people in your church to watch this film together. After doing so, it might be helpful to share discussion around these questions:

How can we build on our church’s distinctive ability to keep connections through advancing dementia, using:
- Our worship, gathered round the table of the altar;
- Our church music, with its ability to connect to prayer, faith and God; and
- The stability of our buildings, speaking of faith, hope and love which endure?
In the process of becoming more dementia-friendly, what’s our next step forwards as a church family, that’s do-able and worth doing?

Support through our dementia-friendly churches and schools network

All churches and schools within the Diocese of Lichfield are welcome to join our dementia-friendly churches and schools network. Dementia is challenging – and it’s part of every community, including our church and school communities. Through our churches/schools, we can share understanding/awareness and experiences/resources, keeping in step with one another and with God through advancing dementia. You’re welcome to join in with our:

Newsletter – receiving information on all our resources/support.
Dementia-friendly training.
Network meetings.
Certificates – setting out three “do-able and worth doing” actions on dementia.